Miserable at Best
by lovin.the.rain
Summary: One-Shot songfic of Miserable at Best by Mayday Parade of Lily and Severus after he had called her a mudblood. I suck at summaries sorry, R&R puuulllease! 3
1. Chapter 1

**One-Shot SongFic of Miserable at Best by Mayday Parade. Ennjooooyyyy :)**

"How could you, Sev?" Lily screamed at me.

I don't know what possessed me to me to do that. The one and only person who had ever really loved me, and I call her one of the worst names possible.

"I didn't mean to call you that..." I said in a small voice. I don't like being yelled at.

"What, Sev? What did you call me? Go ahead, say it. If you could say it in front of half our year, you sure as hell can say it now." she spat at me."

"A-a... A mudblood. I didn't mean to call you a mudblood." I almost whispered.

"Bullshit." She snapped.

"Lily, I swear to God, I didn't mean it! It just slipped!" I spazzed. This just could not be happening.

"'Letting it slip,' implies that it was on your mind prior, Severus. Don't think that I'm stupid." She was getting close to tears. But not "I'm so sad, feel pity for me," kind of tears, but "dear God, Severus, you better run before I give you a nasty bat bogey hex that'll stick with you for weeks," kind of tears.

"Lily... I'm so sorry... Please, please, please forgive me. I just can't live without you. You're my best friend."I pleaded.

She looked at me. She just stood there and stared at me with those beautiful, deep intense, green eyes. I took her silence as a chance to admire how beautiful she looked. Her reddish-brown hair was up in a messy bun, with bits of hair falling around her face. She was in her nightgown, but I could still see those curves that kept me up at night just thinking about them. Her face, that of an angel, was glowing in the slight moonlight that was coming from the light above us, She no longer looked angry. She just looked hurt.

"Sev, I wish I could say the same. I wish I could tell you that I'd be lost without you. But you and i both know that that's not true. Without you, I will be able to function, interact, and live my life. I will go on, I know it for a fact. I can live without you. But Sev... Without you... Without you I'll be miserable at best." Finally the tears started to spill, but just slightly. Just enough to make me want to reach out an hold her and never let her go.

"Then don't go Lily... I got the point that i should leave you alone, but we both know I'm not that strong! Please, Lily. Please don't go..." I begged. I couldn't lose her. Not like this.

"I'm sorry, Sev. I'd rather be miserable then mistreated." She whispered and then turned into the portrait, leaving me alone in the halls of Hogwatrs.

**A/N waddya think? Review por favor :)**


	2. Chapter 2

"I just don't understand... how, after all this time, could that memory pop back into my head? an how the hell has it caused me so much pain... I did everything, EVERYTHING, to forget... what could have possibly brought it all back. she's been dead for ten years, how could she still hold so much value to me? what could have possibly triggered the memory of that woman? that beautiful, intense, brave, kind hearted, amazing woman... snap out of it severus! she's DEAD. it doesn't matter what brought back those memories that I was so sure were gone forever... the only thing that matters is how I'm to get rid of them..." I ranted to what I thought was myself, in the potions room.

The failed first years' stench still lingered in the air from yesterday, their first was one of those horrid odors thats rotten aroma shifted endlessly from corner to corner until it intoxicated all and suffocated them with its kindly reminder. Now today I had a double lesson with the Slytherins and the Gryffindors. Great. the last thing i need right now is a group of pompous Gryffindors. First years none the less.

"In order to solve the problem, severus, you need to know where it came from," Albus said from the doorway.

"I-I didn't know you were there..." I hid my face in embarrassment.

how much had he heard?

"i could tell something was bothering you durning breakfast, I wanted to make sure you were alright."

"well, thank you, headmaster, but I should be fine. just feeling... under the weather." I said. God, how I wish he would go away.

"okay, severus. just remember what I said. have a nice day," Dumbledore said as the first years file in.

"thank you headmaster." I say looking down at my desk, hiding from the first years. they didn't need to see the hurt in my eyes.

when the bell rang I was still looking down at my desk.

kill me now... "alright class..."

and then I see him.

a spitting image of his father. the mangy hair cut, that condescending smirk, even down to those god awful glasses.

but I didn't see any of it.

all I saw was the eyes... those eyes...

her eyes.


End file.
